Fluffdate: I don’t know, I had the calendar maker liquidated! He was insolent!
Well, it turns out that the object I saw in my dream wasn’t a carrot at all. It was a PLANET! Can you believe that? Obviously I was a little disappointed, but I guess planets are pretty good too. A bit crusty for my taste, but you know. Anyway, the research team were able to locate this so-called ‘Earth’, and thus begins our most foul, CONNIVING conquest ever: Operation SNUGGLY PUPPY. The objective? Why, it’s simple, my good log recorder. We must KILL THE BA-… I mean TAKE OVER EARTH!
Now, I’m told that Earth is occupied by a primitive, PATHETIC race of beings called ‘humans’. While they are bafflingly unintelligent and CLEARLY inferior, it seems they possess an irritating level of will that may cause them to resist us. Given the size of these humans and our…modest stature, direct combat may not be the ideal course of action. Thus it appears we will have to turn to Hoppington VI’s most elite agents, the Cultural Usurping Team of Evil! Our C.U.T.E. agents are the finest in the universe at felling organizations and societies from the inside out. Now we just need a way to get them planted…well, I’m sure I’ll think of something on the way over.
Hm…I wonder if they’ve got carrots on Earth…